I have, let’s call it, a sickness.
That sickness is that I will play most games until I hit end credits, regardless of when in the process of playing that the experience has become an insufferable nightmare. Worse still, is the hunger deep within me that yearns for the dopamine rush of a platinum trophy. I need them, I dream of them, I make obsessively detailed plans for how to acquire them. I stopped enjoying Ghost of Tsushima about four hours in, but when I peeked at the trophies (a blunder I repeat with every game I buy) I realized just how attainable that platinum trophy was.
So I got it. Every step of the way I was battling with reason, with decency, with my knowledge that my time on Earth grows shorter with each enemy encampment cleared, with every haiku composed. Was it worth it? Probably not.
Does my heart gleam with joy when I see that (at time of writing) I have 61 platinum trophies to my name? YES.
Outside of gaming, I have become a goals oriented person in the last few years. I write to-do lists every day (a useful method of coping with my severe and unmedicated ADHD), that will remind me to do basic things like shower or write an email I’ve been meaning to send, or to spend a few minutes reading or outlining my next post. It’s remarkably effective, and is a practice which I’ve been thinking may lead to some big growth and possible successes in 2026.
I turned 30 at the tail end of 2025 and with it came a lot of angst but also a sudden drive to get more of my big picture goals out of the way by the time I turn 31. I decided that the best way to achieve these goals would probably be to make a long-term to-do list and check them off one-by-one, breaking them down into a lot of attainable milestones rather than vague, nebulous idealized dreams of success.
Like… a trophy list.
<sicko mode engaged>
So here we are. It’s 2026 and I have only one thing on my mind. Can I platinum the year?
Below I have organized my goals for the year into the typical trophy categories. Bronze trophies are things that are most likely to just happen with little input or extra effort on my part. Silver trophies take a little more time and energy, and have the potential to be missable by certain deadlines if not adequately planned and prepared for. Gold trophies are the real difficult tasks, things that might not even be up to me and my efforts entirely and may rely partly on a bit of universe-scale RNG.
Some of these are silly. Some of them are deeply personal. All of them will benefit me in some way.
Here is how we get there.
Bronze Trophies
Wolfing it Down – Read Gene Wolfe’s “The Book of the Long Sun” and “The Book of the Short Sun”
Simba, Remember – Finish all Elden Ring Nightreign Remembrance Quests
Not A Waste of Money – Finish my backlog of unwatched DVDs
Cyber New Type – Watch Mobile Suit Gundam ZZ and the film Char’s Counterattack
Explorer – Visit 10 previously unvisited local bookstores
Mysterious Benefactor – Back 5 TTRPG crowdfunding campaigns
FINAL-LY – Finish and write about all remaining mainline Final Fantasy games
Cleaning House – Clean out my closet and dressers of old clothes and donate them
Silver Trophies
Ooh Shiny – Acquire 15 more Platinum Trophies (how meta!)
Bookbound – Finish 50 books
Consistency – Publish a new episode of “Table for Two” every single week
Number Go Up – Reach 1,000 downloads for “Table for Two”
Do it For Them – Finish and publish my next game, “For the Flock”
A Real Game Dev – Reach 50 downloads on itch.io
Cooking Papa – Cook 20 new recipes from the various cookbooks I received for Christmas
It’s An Investment – Purchase a Steam Deck
Gold Trophies
It’s For Your Own Good – Exercise Daily (at least 10 minutes, work counts)
People Are Talking About This – Reach 20 patrons on the “Table for Two” Patreon (that’s patreon.com/tablefortwopod)
Whisper – Publish a short story
Speak – Publish a novella
Shout – Complete a first draft of a novel
Tables Squared – Launch a secondary series on the “Table for Two” feed
Platinum Trophy
2026 – The Year of the Celestial Fox – Acquire all other trophies
So there it is: my trophy list for the year 2026, due no later than 11:59pm on December 31st.
Wish me luck.
Vulpes Valentine's Video Game Valley 